i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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