Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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