I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
