Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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