I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
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