Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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