Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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