its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
