the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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