This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Green mimosas i think yes
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
