i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
