I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
