I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
