so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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