That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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