I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
