naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize