So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize