the new term for farting is butt boxing.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
