just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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