yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
