Pants 0. Shit 1.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
