If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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