Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
