Me too!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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