I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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