Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i permit you to call me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
