he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
