the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
