I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
