very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
