Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Me too!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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