My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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