She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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