Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
