You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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