the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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