My room smells like vodka and shame
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
