it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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