addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
