Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
