I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
