it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize