I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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