to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
