I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize