Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
