I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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