I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
