Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
