you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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