It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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