we have pet lesbian snakes
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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