i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
