That's when you crack a 10am beer
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
