Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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