just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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