she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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