I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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