He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
