remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
